🚨🎟️ BREAKING: Ticketmaster Just Got Caught Red-Handed Helping Scalpers Get That Sweet Sweet Bread! 💰💀 Y’all ever wonder how the scalpers got that rich? It's because Ticketmaster’s been playing footsie with them under the table, while fans are out here seething and coping with their empty wallets. 😤💸 The FTC is dropping lawsuits like they’re hot mixtapes, alleging that Live Nation and Ticketmaster were basically giving scalpers the cheat code to the ticket game! **YIKES!** 🔥 Imagine this convo: 🎤 Developer 1: "Why charge $30 when we can charge $300? Stonks, baby!" 🎤 Developer 2: "Wha—? But that’s CRINGE!" 🎤 Developer 1: "Nah, it's called *capitalism*. We’re *based*." Now artists are putting out music like, “Let me keep the show affordable,” while Ticketmaster’s like: "Not on my watch, fam! 😈🤡" The FTC is basically saying, "Hold my coffee while I expose this nonsense." ☕️💥 Fasten your seatbelts, because ticket prices are about to go lower than your ex’s standards! 💥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2024, Ticketmaster will start charging a “virtual air” fee—yep, breathing in the venue will cost you! 😱🚀 #HelpMe