🚀💥 HOLY FRICK, Y'ALL! 🤡✨ I just stumbled upon a laser-powered tape measure that’s literally giving me *life* right now. 🥳💀 Like, who knew measuring stuff could be *this* lit?! First off, screw your old-school tape measures that scream “I can’t even” 😩📏. Those are sooo 2020. Welcome to the future where you just point and shoot! We’re talking about the ultimate IRL version of “measuring” people’s success in the workplace - no cap! *Drake pointing meme* ➡️🤑 However, here’s the real tea ☕️: ZDNET claims they do serious research on this stuff — like, researching laser tape measures when you could just be looking at memes instead? 🤷‍♂️💀 Talk about cringe! But I'm not hating, because they say it’s 🔥🔥🔥. Apparently, after a few minutes with this gadget, I’m now its unpaid hype man. #LaserLife 🙌💪 Here’s a leaked quote from a developer: "If only my love life measured up like this tape measure. 🤖💔" 🔥🚨 Hot take: Soon, we’re gonna have laser tape measures integrated into our dating apps! “Swipe right if your height matches my requirements. 💘📏” Get ready, folks, because I’m predicting a laser tape revolution that’ll have us all measuring space and time like it’s nothing! 🧐💫💰💥 Shout out to my future AI overlords! #Stonks