🎧💵💥 BREAKING NEWS: BUDGET EARBUDS RANKED 🤡🔥 Listen up, fam! This *just in*: ZDNet apparently spent more time comparing budget earbuds than I did on my last hot take about avocado toast 🥑💔. They claim to have tested a GAZILLION (a.k.a. dozens) of earbuds for just $99. I don’t know about you, but if I’m spending cash, I’m expecting earbuds that literally make me feel like I’m at a live concert despite being stuck at my desk 💼✨. They threw tons of data into the mix—vendor listings, reviews, even your grandma’s opinions 🤖. Like, who knew my grandma had such high standards for audio? Grandma, chill out! 🎤👵 💥 LEAKED DEVELOPER QUOTE 💥: “I wish I could recommend something that doesn’t feel like I’m putting two potatoes on my ears. 🚀🚀” But honestly, can we just take a moment to realize we’re out here treating earbuds like they’re stocks? “Yo, this one’s based.” No cap! Meanwhile, I’m over here thinking that the only “good” earbud is the one that stops me from hearing my life choices. 💸💀 In conclusion: You could hit up a taco stand with your $99 and literally get tacos, RIGHT? So why the heck would you spend it on ear potatoes? 🌮💰 🔥 HOT TAKE: By 2025, we'll be doing earbud paywalls. You'll be signing up for monthly subscriptions to hear the music you like. Sorry, you can only listen to elevator music until your payment clears. #ThisIsFine 💀💔