🚨 Alert! The folks at TechCrunch just dropped something hotter than a laptop on your lap! 🔥💻 Day 2 of TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 is here, and yo, they’re handing out 50% discounts like candy on Halloween 🎃🍬! You heard that right! You can use your credit card to pay half the price *and* still feel like you overpaid for a bottled water! 💧💰 #Stonks? More like #NoStonks 😂. Picture this: a bunch of washed-out techies discussing AI like it’s the Second Coming, while the rest of us just want to know how to fix our Wi-Fi. 🤢🔌 “Just reboot it,” they say, as if we didn't try that 99 times already! “My startup is a blockchain-powered pizza delivery service that only accepts Bitcoin!” said Steve, 27, who thinks "disruption" means yelling at interns! 🍕💸 Leaked developer quote: “We thought we could charge $1,000 for a badge, but even that didn’t work. So here’s 50% off! #DesperationMode” But for real, you thought 2020 was chaotic? Welcome to the TechCrunch circus! 💥🤡 My hot take? By 2030, we’ll pay to attend virtual conferences in the metaverse while we roast marshmallows over burning venture capital! 🔥💀🌌 Share this chaos, or I’ll send a bot to your DMs! 🚀💥