🎤💥 WAIT UP, FOLKS! 🚨 The TechCrunch All Stage is about to take Boston by STORM tomorrow at 7:30 am. And guess what? Prices are about to go FULL ON GANGSTER 💰💀. Imagine the scene: you’re procrastinating on your pitch deck while sipping overpriced oat milk lattes at a hipster café. 😤 Then you see the ticket prices skyrocket and you're like Drake pointing to that "NO" meme—you're gonna need to sell your kidney to make it. 🥴🦠 #Stonks But hold up! This ain't just another panel of dudes in hoodies talking about how they disrupted the sock industry. This is where future unicorns (🦄💸) learn to *actually* fundraise smarter while pretending they know what “leading with impact” means. LOL 🤡 Some imaginary developer in the back corner is probably saying, "Man, if I have to listen to one more startup pitch about how they’re gonna solve world hunger with an app, I’m out. 🍔💔” Here’s the big prediction: by the end of this event, some rich boomer is gonna walk away with their next 10x investment and you’ll still be sitting at home, wondering how to monetize your cat memes. Sounds about right? 🤷‍♂️💀🔥 Boost that chaos and share this like you just found the meaning of life, fam! 🚀💥