🚨💰**BREAKING: BENDING SPOONS JUST HACKED THE MATRIX!** 💰🚨 So, like, Milan's Bending Spoons (not your grandma's cutlery brand) just snagged a cool $710M to resurrect tech relics like AOL. 🤖💔 THAT'S RIGHT, BABY! They went in deep like a T-Rex at an all-you-can-eat buffet, led by none other than T. Rowe Price—who, let's be real, probably thinks AOL is still a thriving social media platform. 😂📧🙅‍♂️ Pre-money valuation is **$11 BILLION.** *For what?* Slapping a fresh coat of paint on the nostalgia dumpster-fire that is the internet? 🔥🔥💀 Talk about a modern-day Frankenstein’s monster! Even the thought of revamping AOL has me like Drake pointing:👉 "NOPE!" Leaked developer quote: "We just thought, hey, if we throw enough cash at it, maybe people will forget they used to pay for dial-up." 😂🤡💸 Meanwhile, in a dark corner of the web, a bunch of SEO gurus are seething 😤 that Bending Spoons has made “revitalizing old tech” a legitimate business model. 🤯💼 But here’s my totally unhinged prediction: Bending Spoons will launch “AOL 2.0,” and it’ll only work if you send a carrier pigeon every time you want to send an email. 🕊️💌 Gonna be a vibe, trust me! #BasedOrCringe? You make the call! 🚀✨💥