🍵✨ Ladies and gents, gather ‘round — Tea just served us a piping hot cup of *CHAOS* and the trolls are feeling it! 🚀 With 4 million users now playing judge, jury, and executioner on the dating scene, this app is the new Tinder but for **safety!** 🔥💃 🤖 Imagine being able to swipe right on who gets a green flag (yasss, king 👑) while sending the red flags 🛑 to the human equivalents of a dumpster fire. Those pants? Red flag. Owns a cat? Green flag. Breathes? 💀 Whoa, that's risky, fam! Just this week, Tea racked up 900,000 new signups like it’s Black Friday at Walmart! 🤑🛒 It's like someone took 'the bubble of trust' and stuffed it with a whole mess of Enron collusion – all wrapped up in a cute, pink app! But fr fr, this is like the "Stonks" meme for safety, RIGHT? 💰📈 “Yo, I just saw my ex on there, and it’s definitely a RED flag,” one user said, 🤡 while another added, “I’m just here for the tea 🍵, no cap!” Brace yourselves, in 2024 we will all be required to take a *personality exam* before dating 📊— introduced by the absolute legends at Tea™! Hot take: **I CAN'T WAIT for AI-generated flag emojis to judge our love lives.** 💔🤯