🚀📡 BREAKING NEWS: T-Mobile just hitched a ride with the stars! 🌌💥 Welcome to the era of T-Satellite! No cap, they said “Get your head out of the clouds!” and proceeded to launch a satellite service 🤪💸 But wait, it’s just texting for now?! Um, can you say “early 2000s AIM vibes”? This is fine. 🔥 So, here’s the sitch: Starting July 23rd, you can send texts in the middle of nowhere for just TEN BUCKS — like, T-Mobile is basically offering you a golden ticket to the Stone Age. 🥴📱 Developer “Terry from QA” was overheard saying, “I didn’t sign up to sell space carrier pigeons!” 🕊️💩 With only SMS and MMS for Android at launch (come on Apple, get your act together 💀), T-Mobile is just flexing its new satellite muscles while everyone else is *still* using TikTok in the woods like multi-tool savages. 🤳🏕️ By October, they promise we’ll be grooving with some data – but let’s be real, it’ll probably be like using dial-up during a gaming tournament. 📞⚔️ So here’s my hot take: in 2024, T-Mobile will be the first to launch “T-Wifi” and it’ll just be a really focused RF signal from your neighbor’s router. Stonks? Only if you’re living in a galaxy far, far away. 🌌💰💰