🚨🍏✨**BREAKING: SWITCHING iPHONES IS PRACTICALLY AN OLYMPIC SPORT IN 2025!**🍏🚨 Y'all ready to make “switching devices” the next extreme sport?🤸‍♂️💪 In the latest episode of *As the Apple Turns*, we’re pulling an iPhone “hold my charger” move and saying goodbye to your old tech like you're evicting a squatter. 🤡📱💔 So here’s the ultimate guide (aka your life coach) to tossing your old phone like it’s a broken iPhone 6, you know, the one that’s been stuck in your drawer since 2018. 🥴💀💩 💾👀 STEP ONE: Kernel Panic your old device like “I’m not a Data Hoarder, Mom!” You wanna transfer contacts? Just swipe them like those Tinder rejects. 🥴💔💖 🎵🔥 STEP TWO: Rescue your long-lost “sad playlist” from your Apple Music. Because who doesn’t want to cry while transferring those tunes? 😭🎶 ☠️🚀 STEP THREE: Photos! Think of it as a digital dumpster dive. That selfie with the bad haircut? Gone. 😂✌️ 📱💰 RUMOR HAS IT: A dev at Apple said, “If we made it any easier, people would stop thinking they’re tech-savvy,” while pouring himself a double espresso. ☕👨‍💻 **And in an unhinged hot take: In 2025, phone switching will be an Olympic event, and I’m here for the viral TikTok dances that will inevitably follow. Grab your light-up sneakers, fam. LET'S GO! 🚀💥**