🎉🚨 BIG NEWS ALERT! 🚨🎉 Swift just dropped the BOMBSHELL that they’re teaming up with over 30 financial institutions (oooh, rich people) to build a blockchain-based ledger with Consensys! 💰🤖 But here’s the real tea: if your name isn’t Satoshi, then nobody asked you! 🤡🧐 You heard it here first folks: it's basically like an exclusive VIP club where only big bankers get to sip their lattes while the rest of us watch from the sidelines like, “This is fine.” 🔥☕️ Meanwhile, Swift is over here trying to flex blockchain like it’s a new hairstyle—like ok, we KNOW it’s trendy, but there are only so many NFTs one can buy before it’s just cringe, fr fr! 😬🚀 BREAKING: A “leaked” quote from a developer at Swift claims, “We thought about using Excel, but then we were like, nah, let's confuse everyone with blockchain!” 💀💅 Meanwhile, shareholders are like Drake pointing at “existing bank systems” and then “blockchain” with the face of a thousand eyerolls. 😂💸 But here’s my HAWTT TAAKE: this is just the next step towards full financial dystopia, where we all pay for our coffee with crypto and regret every morning! Mark my words, we'll be buying lattes with Dogecoin while Swift revolutionizes our lives...but you know, also makes us seethe with FOMO! 🚀💩💥