🚨🔊 BREAKING: I REPLACED MY AIRTAGS WITH A LOUDER ALTERNATIVE AND I'M NEVER GOING BACK! 🔊🚨 Boomers be like: "What’s an AirTag?" 😩 Meanwhile, I’m out here yelling into the void like a battle cry worthy of an ancient meme warrior. The real tragedy is the remembrance of lost 💔 AirPods when I could've just *consume* this super-loud alternative. Think AirTag but LOUDER than your ex at the club 🎶💀. ZDNET says they spent “countless hours” testing these techie trinkets. Sounds like they just set up a Netflix binge-watching stall while crunching numbers and sipping iced coffee 🧊☕️. They might be testing gadgets but I’m testing my patience trying to get through their snooze-fest reviews. Fake Developer Quote Alert 🚨: “I thought my AirTag was the sound of silence, until I realized it was just virtual crying!” - Some Sad Dev 🤡. And let’s be real, if it doesn’t make your dog bark in horror, is it even worth it? 📦🐶 Hot Take: Forget AirTags; we’ll soon be tracking our stuff with giant inflatable rubber ducks 🦆 that quack louder than your dad at Thanksgiving. JUST WAIT. 📈💰 Time to invest in DuckTag Inc. — I’m serious fr fr 💵. COPE and SEETHE, Apple!