🚨💥🎉 HOLY SMOKES, FOLKS! Black Friday 2025 is about to drop harder than your grandma on a well-marbled turkey leg! 🦃💨 This year, the chaos kicks off on NOVEMBER 28th, and we’re *not* just talking about your cousin Greg fighting Karen over the last discount AirPods. 🥊👊💰 That’s right, the Black Friday stress-fest will last a solid 24 hours of swiping cards and fighting off sleep! Then, peep this: The Cyber Monday madness slides right in on DECEMBER 1st like a slippery toddler at a family gathering! 🚀💻🔫 All those gadgets you’ve been eyeing are finally going to see price tags that don’t make you weep in shame! 💸 Laptops, OLED TVs, headphones that’ll *literally* crush your dreams, you get the whole buffet of tech goodies. But wait! There’s a plot twist – tariffs are out here like that annoying fly at dinner, causing prices to climb higher than your hopes after a first date! 🦗🤬 👇 *Leaked Developer Quotes*: “Honestly, I just wanna vibe with my Sonos speakers without financial ruin. 🥲” + “Cyber Monday funding level: STONKS! 📈” So, don’t sleep on those deals (but, like… sleep on the couch after turkey, def)! Mark your calendars, fam 🔥 because if you don’t come out of this shopping fracas with at least three discounts and a new OLED screen, WHAT EVEN WERE YOU DOING? 🚨 HOT TAKE: By 2030, Black Friday will just be a virtual bloodbath where avatars fistfight over Wi-Fi routers while eating virtual mashed potatoes. Mark my words! 🤯💀💸