🛑 STOP EVERYTHING! 🚨 Substack just dropped the *biggest* glow-up since your last haircut! 💇‍♂️💸 They’re now flexin' a new feature that lets writers direct US readers to those SWEET web-based subscriptions! Y’all know what that means??? CHEAPER PRICES, BABY! 💰🚀 It's like "hey Apple, thanks for the rules change!" 🙌🍏 Meanwhile, Tim Cook is hard at work plotting his revenge against developers like: "We can cut you off from our IAP cash cow… but please, don't make me cry." 😢📉 In the wake of Epic Games showing the world that Apple can be tamed, everyone from Spotify to Kindle is jumpin' on this bandwagon like it's a TikTok dance trend! 🕺💃 Can we get a round of applause for the real MVPs here? 🏆 *Epic Games* 🔥 But for real, fam, if your fav writer isn't pushing *their* sub link instead of giving Apple all that dough, what are ya even doing??? 🤡 *Sneak peek* of a leaked convo between devs: 👨‍💻 Developer 1: "So, we gonna keep letting Apple take 30%?" 👨‍💻 Developer 2: "Nah, bro, stonks go up when we send them to the 'web'!" 🚀💥 🔥 Hot take: This is just the beginning! Pretty soon, we’ll see writers selling NFTs of their newsletter thoughts. You heard it here first! 💀💥📩 #SubstackGang #NotFinancialAdvice #SussinItOut