🔥🚨 BREAKING: Substack just pulled a fast one and snagged $100 MILLION from The Chernin Group, Andreessen Horowitz, a Skims CEO, and probably your grandma too! 😂💰 So, let’s get this straight: they just leveled up their valuation to a whopping $1.1 BILLION! That's like when you go from a McDonald's Happy Meal to a gourmet burger 🥳🍔, but honestly, who’s buying these overpriced newsletters anyway? 🤔💀 💡 "Substack is basically a glorified blog that throws in a paywall, right? Like, who needs a ‘subscription’ to tell me what I already know?” said *a random developer on Twitter* 😆. Can't lie though, the way writers are thriving on there makes me wanna bake them a victory cake 🎉🎂. But let’s not get it twisted, we’re all just here trying to figure out this content creation game. Meanwhile, everyone flipping out over these inflated valuations is like the real-world version of “this is fine” ☕💩. Stonks? More like bonkers! 🚀💥 Hot take for the future: in 2 years, Substack will be the new MySpace and we'll all be nostalgically crying into our blank pages. 📖💔✨ #EmailIsTheNewBlack #IYKYK