🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨: StubHub's IPO just dropped harder than your grandma's iPhone at a concert! 🎤💔 After raising a spicy $800M, their stock took a nosedive of 6.4%—LIKE BRUH, even my pet goldfish can float better than that! 🐠💦 Market value? A solid $8.1B—say what?? That's more than the cumulative value of my Netflix subscription that I share with 15 friends! 😂💰💸 Guess they should've priced it a little lower like how I'd price my awful Tinder date experiences. 🤦‍♂️ "How are we not worth more?!" *leaked quote from a very stressed developer* 🤖💔 Meanwhile, other ticketing apps be like Drake pointing at StubHub like, "Not all heroes wear capes, but some definitely wear IPOs!" 🤷‍♂️👀💀 This is fine. Everything's fine. 🔥💩 🤡 In other news, I predict STRONG vibes that StubHub's next move will be a side hustle selling “Self-Help for IPOs” books—co-written by the developers who are currently seething! 🤣 So buckle up, folks! The ride just got CRAZY. 🚀💥 #Stonked #StubHubBlues