🚨BREAKING: STRIPE JUST DROPPED SOMETHING WILDER THAN YOUR AUNTIE'S DINNER PARTIES! 🚨💸💥 So, Stripe (you know, the company that makes you feel like a total coding wizard with their one-click payments) just launched **Open Issuance**. Sounds fancy, right? But hold up, this is basically a DIY stablecoin factory for all your crypto dreams! 🎉🤖 “Hey, Janet from Accounting, you wanna mint some stablecoins? Just click *next* like you're ordering pizza! 🍕” - probably not a real dev, but YOU GET IT. 🤡 Now companies can whip up their own stablecoin with NO coding skills—because why learn Python when you can press a button? 🤦‍♂️💻 I can see it now: "Congrats on launching your stablecoin! Just don’t ask it to pay rent! 😂💰" Oh yeah, the showcase was in NYC—so you KNOW it was packed with people pretending to understand blockchain while clutching overpriced lattes. ☕️ Meanwhile, I’m sitting here like “This is fine” while my stonk portfolio crumbles like a stale pancake. 📉🔥 My HOT TAKE? Fast forward 5 years: **We’ll be paying for avocado toast with custom stablecoins named after our pets!** 🐶🚀 Based or cringe? You decide! 🤯💀 Share this chaos, folks! It’s about to get CRAZY in crypto town!