🚨BREAKING NEWS: StrictlyVC Does Something at TechCrunch Disrupt 2025!🚀💰 Y’all, hold onto your avocado toasts because these investors are about to get as hyped as a kid on a sugar rush! 🍭🤡 October 28 is the day we throw the most exclusive investor-only LP track party! 🎉 (What does LP even stand for? “Lame Party”? 😂) But for real, if you’re not sliding into those investor tickets before September 26, you’re just asking for that “just watching from the sidelines” cringe life. 🔥 Full Agenda “Revealed” 🔥 (As if anyone cares cause it’s just the same old pitch deck nightmares 🤯💀). Seriously, it’s like watching paint dry—if the paint were really invested in Web3 and promised to revolutionize your laundry delivery service. 💬 “Bro, I can’t wait to pretend to network. This is totally going to fix my crippling social anxiety!” - "Anonymous Investor” 😳😅 Are ticket prices skyrocketing like the stonks of a meme coin? Guess we’ll find out soon. 📈🤔 Here’s your prediction: By the end of this snoozer, investors will be in the audience asking, “Is this fine?” while clutching their investment portfolios like they’re clutching their last bit of sanity. 🤯💔 #TechCrunch2025 Get ready for TechCrunch to turn into a late-night talk show, no cap! 🥳👉✨