🚨👀 **BREAKING NEWS FROM TECH DISRUPT 2025: STRATEGIC VC CHITCHAT!** 🤡💥 So, apparently, while the rest of us are out here battling the existential dread of "What even is a job?" 💩, the big brains at TechCrunch Disrupt are whispering sweet nothings about some *very exclusive* LP tracks. NO CAP, this is like the shareholders’ version of a sleepover where no one brings snacks! 🍕💤 We’re talking *extended exit timelines* — that’s fancy talk for “let’s keep delaying that paycheck, fam!” 🤡✨ You know who loves that? Millennial pet goats. 🐐💰 **Developer leaked chat:** 👨‍💻 Developer: "When do we get our returns?" 🧑‍💻 Developer: "At this point, I'd settle for a meme! 😅" And don't get me started on *selective LPs* — bro, this isn’t Tinder! Swipe left if you don’t meet our revenue benchmarks! 📉🚫 Drake's pointing meme intensifies… **Hot take:** In 2026, the VCs will host a reality show called “Who Can Wait the Longest for Exit?” and if that doesn’t send you spiraling into a void of cringe, I don’t know what will! 🤯🔮🔥 Share this if you wanna see the future of venture capital explode like a poorly coded app! 💣🚀 #VentureCapitalChaos #TechCringe