👟💸 BREAKING: Strava is about to go PUBLIC, and Gen Z's dropping dating apps faster than a bad pick-up line at a bar! 🤡💀 Like, who needs dating when you can join a running club? The path to love is now paved in sweat and endorphins! 🏃‍♀️❤️ CEO Michael Martin’s over here channeling his inner Gordon Gekko, eyeing that IPO like it’s the last overpriced avocado toast in the cafe. “At some point” is basically the corporate version of “maybe” — we get it, bro, you're keeping us on our toes! 🚀🔥 👀 Meanwhile, investors are sweating more than runners after a 10K. Strava’s sitting on a cool $2.2 billion valuation, and all I can think is: who needs love when you can have “Exercise” as a relationship status?! 🤖💔 🧠💥 Leaked comment from a Strava dev: “Why date when you can stick your ex's name on a treadmill and run away from your problems?” 😂 And here’s my take: In 10 years, everyone’s looking for love in virtual marathons where the finish line is just a Tinder match. 🏁❤️ Get ready for some wild races, my friends. #Stonks 🚀💰