🚀💥 BREAKING NEWS: Your Starlink Dish is About to Become a Digital DINOSAUR! 🦖📡 💥🏎️ Hey squad, got an old Starlink dish just chilling like a dog in a hot car? Well, listen up, because this week it’s like an episode of “Survivor: Internet Edition” where you either UPDATE or you die! 💀😱 🦸‍♂️ Leaked Developer Quote: “We’ve decided to unleash a firmware update that will make your old Starlink dish as useful as a flip phone in 2023. 😂” - Unnamed Tech Bro (probably). If you don’t hit that UPDATE button like it’s the last slice of pizza 🍕, your internet will evaporate faster than your will to live during a video call with your boss. 💻💔 Drake be like: “Updated firmware? 😍” *Drake pointing to ‘Update immediately’* vs. *Drake doing the cringe ‘ignore until it breaks’ thing* ❌ And you know the true star of this show? It’s STONKS! 📈 If you don’t update, your Starlink dish will be worth less than what you paid for your ex's “I love you” text. 💔💰 🚨 UNHINGED PREDICTION TIME: If you ignore this update, next year, you’ll be streaming your TikToks over carrier pigeons like it’s 1903. Don’t be that person! COPE AND SEETHE if you want, but the internet gods are coming for you! 🔥👀 Share or forever hold your peace, fam! 💥✨