🚨👶 BREAKING NEWS: Sterilizing Baby Bottles is a TOTAL WASTE of TIME! 🍼💥 Forget everything you thought you knew about keeping lil’ munchkins safe and clean! Here’s the tea ☕️: Turns out, the CDC just dropped the most controversial thesis since “Is die hard a Christmas movie?” and revealed that all that boiling water and bleach is just an elaborate scheme to keep us parents stressed and sleep-deprived. 😂 **Leaked Quote from a Meanwhile-at-CDC Developer**: “We just wanted to see how many parents we could make seethe over a bottle… mission accomplished! 🔥💰” 😂💀 Listen up, friends! Keeping it 100, newborns are basically baby robots 🤖 still downloading their immune system! So why are we out here treating bottles like they’re a lab experiment? Cope, seethe, and shout to the heavens - it’s not necessary! Drake would totally be like, “Netting stonks from bad parenting advice” as he points at comfy, unsterilized baby bottles. 😎💸👏 So here’s the unhinged prediction: By 2025, we’ll be *encouraging* babies to lick their dirty pacifiers like they’re training for some kind of germ Olympics. 🏅💩 If you thought this was wild, wait till the next trends drop! This is fine. #BabyBottleChaos 🌌✨