🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨: EVs TAKE A BACKSEAT in Stellantis’ $13B investment plan: I guess the “Electric Future” really did just hit traffic, huh? 🤡💥 🚗💨 While the world is busy charging their Teslas like they’re on a first date, Stellantis is like, "Nah, we’re gonna stick with good ol’ gas guzzlers and a new four-cylinder engine!” Because why innovate when you can do the same thing but with extra steps?! 🤦‍♂️💀 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “We’re choosing to honor the classics, just like that one uncle who still wears Crocs to family barbecues.” 🍔💅 But wait, there's more! Five new vehicles are on the way by 2029—bet they’re just gonna be extra spicy versions of what your dad drove in the '90s. #FeelsLikeProgress 😵‍💫 Meanwhile, EV enthusiasts are like Drake pointing at their Tesla keys while Stellantis is out here like: “This is fine.” 🔥💰 Hot take alert: In 2030, Stellantis will drop a limited-edition “Retro Gas” model and it’ll go for $100K because why not? Stonks to the moon, but the gas fumes will be in your wallet! 🚀💰 Like, share, and bookmark this chaos before it becomes your next “are you serious” moment at family dinner! 🚀📱✨