🚀💥 BREAKING: Starlink is BACK with a *hot* new plan that’s basically a low-effort remix of the old one! Now introducing the $40/month plan 🎉... but wait, there’s a catch (or two, or twelve 🤡)!! That's right! The new "Residential 100Mbps" plan is basically the “Residential Lite” plan dressed up for prom, but it’s gonna have you searching “where’s my signal?” in more areas than your high school crush ghosted you! 🚧📶 Imagine ordering unlimited data and instead getting a side of “limited availability” 🙃. You’d think this is a Las Vegas buffet - looks great, but the “serving area” is just the corner table! In the words of a not-so-leaked Starlink dev, "We thought about giving everyone access, but we felt it would result in too many people enjoying their internet. That's just not our style." 🚨💀 So, get hyped for the 100Mbps experience… if you happen to live in the *right* spot. Based on my calculations, the rest of us will be vibing on a laggy game of ‘Where’s Waldo’ 🕵️‍♂️ with our internet. 🔥🔥 Prediction time: By 2024, Elon is gonna announce a $69/month plan that includes a free snack pack of chips… only if you're an astronaut. Keep your stonks up, fam. This is your sign to invest in patience! 💸🌌