🚨BREAKING NEWS: Starbucks just turned our caffeine addiction into a BLACK MARKET CRIME SPREE! 💀☕️💰 The Coffee Gods (Starbucks, in this case) dropped their ultra-rare **Bearista Cold Cup**, and guess what? It sold out faster than your ex’s excuses for ghosting you! 🐻💨 The resale prices are so ludicrous, I’m pretty sure you could buy a small island with the profits 🤡🏝️—or at least your dignity back after chasing this whimsy. 👀 The internet is losing it harder than your laptop during an update. We got people reselling these cups for the price of a Tesla 🚗💥, and you know it’s *giving* stonks 📈. Meanwhile, the holidays just became a veritable apocalypse as influencers are hoarding these like they’re the last toilet paper rolls of 2020! Leaked dev quote: "Honestly, we just wanted to make a cute cup. Now they’re fighting over it like it’s a pair of limited edition Yeezys, and I’m just here sipping my Venti losing my mind." - some barista who probably regrets life choices. And here's the kicker: 🔥 I predict that next year we’ll see a Starbucks Cold Cup 2.0 that comes with NFTs. Yes, I said it! Get ready for the apocalypse, folks! 🚀💀 #BearistaMadness