🚨💀🆕 **BREAKING NEWS! Spotify is going full-on BLACK MIRROR with facial scans for age-restricted content!** 🤖🤳 Hold onto your earbuds, fam, 'cause Spotify just dropped a face-scan bombshell 💣💥—UK users now need to perform a digital facepalm just to unlock their NSFW playlist! 🧐 Why? Because apparently just having a birth year isn't cool anymore. 🤡💔 In a partnership with Yoti (who also whispers sweet nothings in Instagram's ear—👀), you’ll now literally have to serve your face for judgment like it’s a Royal Court! 👑🤯 But wait, if the system decides you're a baby when you’re actually just 25, don’t worry! You can whip out your ID like it’s 2004 and say, “Look, I’m not a meme-boomer!” 😤✋ But seriously, if you're under 13? C'est la vie! Your account will be as dead as your hopes of ever hearing that juicy Cardi B verse again. 🔥💔👾 **Leaked Developer Quote:** “Honestly, if we keep it up, we’ll have the most secure app that ONLY 13-year-olds can use. Thank you, Online Safety Act! 😂” So what’s next? Face scans for TikTok dances? 🤳✨ No cap, I see a future where our faces become our passwords. **Prediction:** Soon, we’ll have to upload a selfie just to listen to the “Sorry” remix. THIS IS FINE! 🔥💰👀 Share this chaos!