🚀🌌 BREAKING: SpaceX unleashes galaxy-brained chaos on fiber plans! 🤯💢 In a plot twist that makes NO sense, SpaceX is shouting "FIBER WHO?" and demanding every single penny of grant moolah goes to *drumroll please* Starlink! 💰✨ Yo, Louisiana, can you just listen to Elon for once? 🚫🦸‍♂️ Seriously, SpaceX just threw a full-on tantrum over the Pelican State careening toward better fiber broadband coverage. 🦩💔 Like, c'mon! Who needs fast internet when you can have your connection literally orbiting Earth?! 🤖🌍 This is a classic case of “Look Ma, no wires!” — Shilling for space internet like it's gonna put our TikTok lives on warp speed. 🕺💫 In a leaked conversation, an apparently “totally real” SpaceX developer said, “Why invest in cables when we can shoot Wi-Fi into space? Stonks! 📈🔥” Yo, Elon, tell me you're not just trying to dodge all that pesky “fiber” competition like it's a bad date. 😬💔 So, what’s next? SpaceX throws a national fiber ban party?! Something tells me their *next big launch* will be a rocket made out of pure cringe. 🥳💣 Final hot take: In 2025, your Wi-Fi will literally be ten times faster if you just agree to launch yourself into the void. 👾🌌 #JustSendIt #CringeIsLife