🚨🚀 BREAKING: Space Force Says "Hold My Beer" to Defense Contractors! 🍺💥 Yo fam, the Space Force just dropped a $4 BILLION 💰 bag on a satellite contest that’s basically like the Hunger Games but for communications! They’re saying “Bye, Felicia!” to jammy communications and looking to go full-on James Bond with *secured* battlefield convos. We’re talking satellites in geostationary orbit, which is basically space's version of sitting on your couch, munching on nachos while flexing your jam-proof channels. 😎✨ And guess who’s in the running? Defense giants Boeing and Northrop Grumman—because why trust a startup that probably made their satellite in a garage, when you could just make it rain on weapons contractors? 💸💣💀 (P.S. leaked developer quote: "We put the 'sat' in satellite and the 'no cap' in unhackable" LOL! 🤡) But fr fr, while we’re fighting jam signals, can we just take a moment to acknowledge that this whole thing is giving “This is fine” dog in a burning room vibes? 🔥✨ My prediction? In 5 years, the Space Force will have a space-based TikTok where they livestream soldiers using their shiny new satellites while dancing to "Stonks" by Bhad Bhabie. Mark my words, it’s gonna be an intergalactic meme fest! 🌌📱💫 #SpaceForce #ThisIsFine #TrapInSpace