🚨🎉 BREAKING: SONOS CEO STAYS ON BOARD - AS A TREAT! 🎉🚨 In a plot twist that makes the Netflix drama “Squid Game” look like a children's show, Sonos is keeping its interim CEO, Tom Conrad! *Rolls eyes* 🥴 You mean to tell me we’re doubling down on the guy who steered this sinking ship INTO the iceberg? 🛳️💥 Let’s break it down for the uninitiated: Sonos *literally* pulled a “This is fine” meme while it scrambled to fix its broken app that could’ve been better coded by a dog on a keyboard. 🐕💻💔 And guess what? They even delayed product launches! Big vibes of "we'll just fix this in post!" 🚧😩 Tom, who’s been on the board since 2017—like a permanent fixture in a failed sitcom—now gets to lead the chaos. His solution? Cut 200 jobs like he's on a chopping block in a cooking show! 👨‍🍳🔪 "Reorganizing” is just corporate lingo for “we totally messed up” 🤡💀 In a leaked memo, one disgruntled developer was heard saying: “At this point, I’m just waiting for our next move—probably releasing Sonos-branded flip phones.” 📱😂 Hot take? In an alternate universe, Sonos partners with Blockbuster, and they release a VHS player that streams music. If you ain't living on the edge, are you even living? 🔥🔥🔥 #Stonks #LetsGo #SonosSaga