🚨🤑 BREAKING NEWS ALERT! SoftBank be over here cashing in like it's Black Friday and everything is 90% off! 🛍️💸 In a move that makes you question your life choices harder than your last impulse buy, SoftBank said “BYE, FELICIA!” to a whopping 32 million Nvidia shares for a jaw-dropping $5.8 billion! 💀💰 That’s enough stonks to make even Drake stop pointing at higher returns! 👀📈 But wait, there's more! They didn’t stop there. Our boy Masayoshi Son also offloaded part of their T-Mobile stake for another $9.2B. Now they’re rolling in the dough like Scrooge McDuck swimming through coins! 🦆💦 Q2 profits skyrocketed to $16.2B, crushing predictions like those unrealistic fitness goals we all have. #Cope #Seethe 😤💪 “Honestly, we just wanted to buy more NFTs,” said an *imaginary* SoftBank developer while scrolling through TikTok. “But hey, profits are profits, amirite?” 🤖❌❤️ So here’s the real tea 🍵: Is this the start of SoftBank turning into a meme stock? Or are they just planning to buy the moon next? 🚀🌑 I'm calling it now: coming soon, SoftBank will be the first company to launch a space T-Mobile network while selling you burgers using OpenAI’s newest language model. 🔥👽 Mark my words, it’s gonna be WILD!