🎉🚨📡 **GIGANTIC TECH NEWS NUCLEAR EXPLOSION!!!** 💣💥 💀💚📹 This week in the land of the tech ZOMBIES, we’ve got *Always-Recording Smart Glasses*—because who doesn't want to be **watched 24/7 by their own eyeballs?** I mean, privacy is *so* last season, right? 🤡👓 *Thanks, Big Brother! Now I can record myself eating ramen at 3 AM!* 🌪️ Meanwhile, Google is over here like, "Hey, remember that Nest Speaker? *Well, we can’t figure out if it’s a speaker or a doorstop, but here's a tease!*" FEAR NOT, *Google* is committed to making that $200 paperweight even more *eco-friendly.* 🌍💚 💉 But the real drama? Masimo is throwing legal haymakers 💪🎭 at the US Customs because the *Apple Watch's blood oxygen sensor* might be a little too “*accurate*” and nobody wants their watch diagnosing them like a TikTok doctor. *Cope and seethe, Apple! You can't make blood pressure readings *stylish*!!* 😱⚖️ Insta360's new action camera is dropping because who doesn't want to film their epic fails from *even more angles?* 📸🔥 And BikeOn’s new power meter is tiny! Like, the only thing tinier is my attention span when reading about fitness tech. 💪😂 **🚀🔥 HOT TAKE: In 5 years, all our gadgets will come with their own *legal teams* because we’ll be sued by our devices for making unconsented content! *Stonks or cringe? You decide!**