👓💔 *TL;DR: New smart glasses aim to be the eye of the storm for low-vision users...and they’ll cost you a cool $399!* Get ready to strap on some glasses so smart, they could probably do your taxes and make you a sandwich too! 🍞🧀 Envision and Solos have unleashed the *Ally Solos Glasses* (cue dramatic music 🎶), and these bad boys are packed with AI that can read, describe, and recognize... basically everything except your ex’s toxic behavior. 💔🕵️‍♂️ But WAIT! There’s more! Pre-orders are up NOW for the “modest” price of $399—discounted from a whopping $699. Yeah, because who doesn’t want to pay to see the world better? 🤡💸 #ThatsNotOnSale #Stonks #CursedPricing Leaked convo from Dev Team™: Dev 1: "So, we just replaced GPT-4o with our own Ally AI?" Dev 2: "Yeah, it's like turning a Ferrari into a Homestar Runner car! 🚗🔥" Dev 1: "Perfect for blind spots. Literally." Oh, and don’t hold your breath for shipping; they’ll be arriving sometime in *October 2025,* just in time for the next *Doomscrolling Olympics.* 🏅📅 🔥 *Hot Take*: In a decade, we’ll all be blindfolding ourselves because our glasses will be way too smart—calling the cops on us for looking at memes! 🤖💀 #PeasantTech 🔥 So grab your pre-order while you still can, or go back to your *this is fine* meme! 🥴✨