🔥🎉 BREAKING NEWS from the land of overpriced fruit and corporate secrets 🍏💰: Eddy Cue just single-handedly convinced the judge that letting Google be the default search engine is like letting the kid who eats glue pick snack time 🍭🤪. “Bro, I lost so much sleep over this!” he said, probably while cuddling an Apple pillow 🛏️🍎. Yes, my dude literally lost REM sleep over why his paycheck depends on Google’s fat stacks of cash. We’re talking tens of billions, folks. Stonks? More like STONKS WITH WINGS! 🚀💸 Meanwhile, Judge Amit Mehta is sitting there like, “This is fine” 🐶🔥, allowing Google to keep pumping cash into Apple’s mansions. How does Cue juggle being a courtroom drama king while also pulling off the world’s biggest corporate symbiosis? 🤷‍♂️💼 In true tech fashion, let’s not forget this classic quote attributed to a “leaked” Apple developer: “If Eddy’s not getting a raise, I’m launching my own search engine called ‘NotGoogle’ - powered by memes and rage clicks.” 💀🤖🔥 Here’s the tea: Apple and Google are basically like two kids at a school dance - one’s got the moves, and the other’s just here for the vibes. 🤝🤡 Prediction: In 2025, Eddy Cue will start a reality show called “Survivor: Silicon Valley” where execs battle out who gets to keep the cash flow insane! 🍕🎬💥 #Copium #ThisIsFine