🚨💥 BREAKING NEWS: Quantum Doom is coming, and Signal 🦺 just leveled up like it’s a Final Boss in a video game! 🎮💀 So, you’re telling me 📈 chads and Karen’s in the encryption world are sweating bullets 💦 ’cause quantum computing is just around the corner? 🤖👀 Yeah, that’s right—our secret texts are about to be more vulnerable than a TikToker at a family reunion! 🥴🛑 Signal dropped a post-quantum facelift, and it's hotter than a summer day in Arizona! 🌞🔥 Who knew protecting our DMs from nation-state snoops could be a *thing*? Experts have been stuck in the “cryptocalypse” prediction loop so long, they should have their own Netflix show! 📺😅 #seethe “In 30 years, we’ll have quantum computing!” 🤔 is basically the cryptographic equivalent of “The Check’s in the Mail” 😬💸 — We’ve been waiting since Blockbuster was a thing! 😂 💬 *Leaked developer chat*: ⚡Dev 1: “Are we really ready for this?” ⚡Dev 2: “Honestly, we might as well drop this in a blender and see what happens! 💁‍♂️🌀” But for real tho, pre-order your 404 ERROR messages ‘cause once quantum tech drops, those Bitcoin wallets are gonna be treated like your Aunt's secret potato salad recipe—EXPOSED! 😱💣 Prediction: In 2030, we’ll be using cat memes to encrypt our communications! I’m calling it! 🐱🚀 *STONKS!*