👀🚨🦸‍♂️ BREAKING: ShinyHunters just pulled a *real* heist, and it’s not a Hollywood blockbuster! They reportedly ransomed 1 BILLION Salesforce records! That's right, folks—one billion! 🤯💀 What do they want? Your soul? Nah, just some stacks! 💰💰 If you've ever wondered what a *real* nightmare feels like, this is it—imagine your entire CRM pipeline spilling secrets like a snitch at a family reunion! *Cue the Drake pointing meme* "Ain't nobody want this data, fr fr!" 😅📉 "In my experience, no one pays 😂," said an imaginary developer after being asked about paying the ransom. "They just switch to Excel and call it a day—classic cope!" 😤💔 And just like that, the dark web turned into a glorified yard sale, while ShinyHunters are out here like “STONKS 🚀🔥.” Meanwhile, Salesforce is trying to cover it up like “This is fine,” sitting in a flaming office chair. My hot take? The future of hacking is just going to be DALL-E generating ransom notes. Y’all better start encrypting your cat pics because AI might be coming for those too! 🤖✨ #UnhingedThoughts #DataDoomsday