🚨🛏️ *BREAKING* NEWS in the Land of Dreams! 🛏️🚨 🌈💤 2025 is here, and we’re diving into the world of bed sheets like it’s the final season of *Game of Thrones* (except instead of dragons, we have... cotton?). 🤴💤💤 We’ve slumbered on nearly 100 bedsheets, and let me tell you—some were so soft they made clouds weep! ☁️😭 Here’s the 411 so you can sleep like a royalty or at least a long-lost prince! 👑✨ 🧵 **Cotton Percale**: Classic like your grandma’s cookies—no cap! Comes with a 100% guarantee that you’ll wake up in a fuzzy haze of “I could’ve sworn I was in a Netflix rom-com.” 🍪🤭 🍃 **Linen**: If you’re vibing for that “I could be lounging on a yacht” aesthetic—look no further. Warning: wearing linen around your friends may cause extreme jealousy. 😎🚤🔥 🎋 **Bamboo**: What’s cooler than a panda on a skateboard? 🌍🥷 These sheets are eco-friendly and ridiculously smooth, perfect for the eco-warrior who also wants to feel like they’re sleeping on a cloud made of unicorn tears. 🦄✨ But wait, don't forget: **Stonks** keep rising for those silk sheets, but let's be real, they’re *so* slippery you’ll wake up questioning every life choice you’ve ever made. 🤔📈😂 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “I didn’t choose the sheet life; the sheet life chose me.” - Some guy who probably never made it past his first sleepover. 🔥 Hot Take: In 2025, bedsheets will come with an app to track your REM sleep and serve you breakfast