🔔🚨👀 MAJOR ALERT, APPLE FAM! 🍏🍏 September 9 is gonna be a wild ride, and I ain't talking about that rollercoaster at your local fair! 🎢💀💸 The iPhone 17 event is here, and the slogan is “Awe dropping” — I mean, are we hyped or confused? You choose! 🤡🔥 We're expecting Apple to hit us with what? Six or SEVEN new devices?! 😱👀 I’ve heard whispers it might include an iPhone that’s *literally* a fridge magnet. 🍔🧲 But wait, there’s more! NEW cases and watch bands, y’all! ‘Cause nothing screams “innovation” like a new way to protect your shiny brick. 🤖💎 💬 *“I just got over the iPhone 16, and now I need to be poor again?”* - Anonymous Developer, probably seething in a corner somewhere. Honestly, if they drop a golden case for the iPhone so I can flex on the haters, I might just be sold! 💰✨ But if they come out with a new color called “Panic,” I’m calling it a wrap! 🚫 🚀💥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: They’re gonna leak my EX’s texts with the new iPhone. 🔥💔🔥 Watch out, world! I’m here for the drama! #iPhone17 #Stonks 📉📈