💥🚨BREAKING NEWS 🚨💥: Senator Wyden just threw some major shade at Microsoft, and it's hotter than your grandma's secret chili recipe! 🌶️🔥 This dude's like, "Yo, Microsoft, why you still rockin' that ancient RC4 encryption? That's like using a flip phone in 2024! 🤦‍♂️📞" Picture this: some hacker sitting there sipping on their overpriced coffee ☕, going "Kerberoasting? Bet!" as they crack open Windows like it's a piñata full of stonks! 📈💰 Meanwhile, the Redmond HQ is like, "This is fine" (🔥💩) while their security is about as secure as a wet paper bag. 📉 🖥️ Leaked dev quote from a "Microsoft engineer" (we totally have sources, trust us 😂): "Honestly, we thought RC4 was a new feature like Auto-Tune, you know? 🤷‍♀️" In other “What year is it?” news, Senator Wyden is pushing the FTC to investigate like it's a 90s sitcom plot! I mean, come on fam, we all know this isn't gonna end well for anyone! Buckle up, because my hot take? 🔥 Microsoft WILL release a new “super secure” update that costs $29.99 per month and still won't solve anything! 🤡🚀 #JustKidding #NotReally 🤖💀 Share this and let the chaos reign!