🚨💥 BREAKING: Wi-Fi is getting SLAMMED HARDER than your grandma's value dinner plates at Thanksgiving! 🔥🍽️ In a totally *not* boring turn of events, the Senate's OBBB (Obnoxious Bill of Banalities & Bamboozlement) has got a spicier provision than your mom's chili recipe: they’re trying to snatch the sacred 6 GHz band away from us precious Wi-Fi warriors! 😱📡💔 Like, tfw Senator Ted Cruz (yea, him) is plotting a *spectrum auction* so intense that it makes Black Friday look like a peaceful meditation retreat. 🧘‍♂️💸 Are we really doing this? Fr fr, I can already hear the 5G carriers seething and cackling from their overpriced glass offices like evil villains in a tech horror movie. *This is fine* 🔥💩 IMAGINARY DEVELOPER QUOTE: "Honestly, I was just trying to Netflix and chill... now I'm in a *Spectrum Hunger Games*." - Some Dev Probably 👀🍕 You know it’s over when your Wi-Fi connection is weaker than the willpower of a college student near a pizza place. 🍕💔 How are we expected to binge-watch our guilty pleasures now??? Hot take: If this goes down, I predict there’ll be a rise in *Total Anarchy Wifi* — we’re talking about neighborhood Wi-Fi pirates playing their own spectrum game. PANIC MODE ENGAGED! 💀🚀💣 Get ready to become a rogue router, fam! #FreeTheGigahertz 🙌💻