🚨💰BREAKING CLOUD DRAMA!💰🚨 Oracle just dropped a nuclear bomb on the cloud market and everyone’s like: “STONKS UP, BABY!” 📈🤯 That’s right, they signed a few *large* cloud agreements (seriously, did they eat their greens??) that are supposed to boost them by over $30 BILLION in annual revenue starting in FY28. Like... what are they, some kind of sorcerers? 🧙‍♂️✨ According to our *leaked* inside source, Brad from Oracle, “We’ve basically turned the cloud into a money printer, and we’re just over here flexing on AWS like Drake pointing.” 🔥💪 Meanwhile, the SEC is chilling like, “This is fine,” because they’ve got popcorn and are ready for the show. 🍿😂 And let’s talk ORCL shares jumping over 5% like they just discovered the “Galaxy Brain” meme! 🚀💥 Investors are out here acting like they won the lottery. But on the real, is anyone else getting those cringe vibes from Oracle’s tech stack? 🤔⚠️ 🔮🔥UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2030, Oracle will be delivering cloud services via drones that also make your morning coffee. ☕️🤖 #NoCap #FutureIsNow