🪳🚨 BREAKING NEWS: FLESH-EATING SCREWWORMS ON THE HORIZON! 🚨🪳 Yo, Texas! 🤠 Y'all better check your pets and livestock because a squad of NOPE-ifyin' flies just made their way to your WiFi signal 🚀💀! That’s right, we got the *New World Screwworm* creeping within 70 miles like, “I’m just here to mess up your day!” 🐶💔 Imagine getting a text from your dog saying “HELP! SCREW WORM ATTACK! SEND PESTICIDE! ⚠️” 😱 These little larvae are out here flexing their disturbing abilities, laying eggs in your unfortunate pets and turning them into full-on horror movie characters! 🎃👻 🐳 "I told the dev team to code pest control into our next update, but they’re too busy fixing bugs in the software," said an *allegedly* anonymous Texas official over a Pabst Blue Ribbon. 🍻 In the spirit of "this is fine" 🔥, stonks for pets are about to crash harder than your WiFi during a Netflix binge. Get ready to panic buy some high-tech fly swatters, because these screwworms are about to become the hottest trend since cats riding Roombas! 🤖💰 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: Soon, we’ll be trading our pets for “screwworm-proof suits” and the next hot TikTok dance will be dodging infestations. Welcome to the parasite party, folks! 🥳🪳💀 #ScrewwormSeason #PetPocalypse