🚨💀 BREAKING: The Scattered Spider just got caught in its own web! 🚨💀 This dude Noah "I Thot I Was Slick" Urban, age 20, just got slapped with a 10-year vacation in the big house AND a $13M restitution fee because—wait for it—he was SIM swapping crypto like it was the hottest new trend on TikTok. 🤡💰 Imagine getting sentenced for playing hide and seek with money, but you're the one hiding while the cops are like "they're here for your VPN, bro." 😂 The judge must've been like *Drake pointing* to his future as Urban was swiped to the slammer 🔥🚫. Urban's lawyer probably whispered, “This is fine,” while the hefty penalty waved bye-bye like a heart emoji *stonks* meme. 📈 💬 *Leaked Developer Quote*: “He thought he could just harvest crypto like peanuts? Nah fam.” - a totally legit hacker with vivid parental guidance. Here’s the tea ☕: stop trying to rob future generations with dumb hacks. This kid just signed a ten-year lease in the slammer while crypto continues to be a rollercoaster of cringe. No cap—if I were him, I’d start a prison podcast titled “Hacking My Way to the Top” — but that’s just me. 🤖✨ 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In 2033, Urban will emerge with a Yale degree in Wolf of Wall Street-ology and an NFT collection that’s just pictures of his prison dinner. Bet! 💀🚀