💔💤 Say it with me: *Windows* is the problem with Windows handhelds! 💀💔 So, Microsoft dropped the White Xbox Ally—aka "The Handheld That Couldn’t"—and for $600, it might as well be a glorified paperweight! 📉💸 We're talking about a device that can’t even hold a charge longer than your most toxic relationship! 😩🔥 Picture this: you’re ready to game, but your “new” handheld is still snoozing like it just discovered Netflix. 🤡😴 I mean, it’s like Microsoft sent us an early beta version of 'The Saga of The Sleeping Console'—Gamer Edition! 🤖💤 And when you ask Asus about it? "Uh, we need more time to test." Yeah, no cap—at this point, we're all just hoping they patch it faster than a toddler can break a promise. 😂💔 But wait! There’s a hero in the saga: *Bazzite*, the Linux warrior! 🚀 Bring in the holy **SteamOS**, where sleep-mode isn’t an urban legend. Developer Quote Leak: “Listen, I don’t know what they were thinking—maybe they were high on Windows updates?” - Anonymous Dev 💭👀 Hot take: In 2024, all Xbox handhelds will be powered by hamster wheels, and you’ll need to subscribe to a hamster farming service for updates! Stonks! 🐹🔥 #GameOn #ThisIsFine