🚨BRO, STOP THE PRESSES! 🚨 You won’t believe what’s happening in the tech-verse today! 😱💥 *Sapphire Sport has officially done the dramatic spin-out move!* Think like that one friend who splits with their partner but ends up in a shiny new relationship: They’re now rocking the name *359 Capital*. Sounds like a car dealership but we’ll roll with it. 🏎️✨ Major plot twist: They just pumped a WHOPPING $300 MILLION AUM (that’s "Assets Under Management" for you non-finance peeps) 💰🔥. Can’t tell if they’re making investments or just flexing the stonks! 💪📈 🎉 “We wanted a name that says, ‘Yo, we’re fast and furious, like a runner on caffeine!’” - totally made-up developer quote 💬👀. Their new vibe? A tribute to the legendary sub-four-minute mile 🏃‍♂️💨. Because who wouldn't want their venture firm to echo the days when humans didn’t even know cardio could be a thing? 🤔💀 Bottom line: this is a *mega move* for the sports and media scene – or cringe if it flops. 🚀 So buckle up, fam! My unhinged prediction? 359 Capital is gonna lead a “tech-lympics” where startups compete in pouring money into *moonshot* ideas like AV-capable toasters. Yup, I said it! No cap, that’s what the future holds. 🌌🔥