🚨BREAKING NEWS! 🚨 Samsung just took a page out of the “we-sold-you-some-doo-doo” playbook! 💩🤖💔 The Galaxy Watch 7 is getting a ONE UI 8 update based on Wear OS 6. 🎉 Wow, talk about *yawn* fest of the year! 🥱 Leaked developer quote: “We added ONE new feature. That’s enough for the next three years, right?” 😬💀💻 We all know this is just Samsung trying to distract us from that *horrific* battery life. 🤡💥 Like, what’s the point of smartwatches if they die faster than your last three Tinder dates? But wait! This means you can finally *track* all those calories you aren’t burning while binge-watching *The Office* for the 47th time. 📺🔥💰 #FitnessGoals 😂 And lo and behold: while you’re stuck with your shiny new watch, Apple's out here plotting their meteoric rise to smartwatch supremacy, selling you rainbows and unicorns. 🌈🦄 Prediction: By the end of 2024, we’ll have watches that tell us the weather while also predicting our *existential dread.* 🚀🔥💰 So, get ready to flex that wrist bling, folks! 😂👑 #ThisIsFine