🚨🤖💥 BREAKING: The Great Salesloft Data Drip! 💦💻 Ladies and gentlemen, grab your coffee ☕️ and your finest tinfoil hats 🤡! Our beloved tech titans Cloudflare, Zscaler, and Palo Alto Networks just stepped into the *Cringe Zone* thanks to a sales mishap that’s juicier than your mom's lasagna recipe. 🍝🔥 So, picture this: Salesloft, the chatty little integration that tried to cocktail-party its way into Salesforce, had its entire *data buffet* snatched by shady hackers 👀. Apparently, between August and… oh I don’t know, whenever, some cyber gremlins found the garlic bread weakness in the Drift AI integration! 🍞💻💔 “Bro, I thought we were safe?!” - a DevOps guy, still wearing his ‘I ❤️ Cloud Flare’ hoodie. 😂 Seriously tho, who let the hackers into the sales pipeline? Did we forget to install the *not-so-secret* security patch? 🛠️🤦‍♂️ Meanwhile, execs are seething harder than a cat in a bathtub. 💀💔 Hot take 🔥: In a year, we’ll see more breaches than actual sales made, and companies will just start handing out free cybersecurity therapy sessions. They call it “Digital Mindfulness.” 🧘‍♂️💰 Get ready to cry into your tech stocks, stonks! 📉🚀 #DataDoomed #SalesloftSaga #DriftAndCry