🔔💥 BREAKING NEWS: Safe Security is now the new kid on the block, and they just flexed a $70M Series C like Elon at a space launch – and you’re still scrolling through your Twitter feed like Bro, are you not entertained? 💀🤡 Previously known as Lucideus (🙄), the squad at Safe Security is out here quantifying cyber risk with the power of machine learning! Because let’s be real, the only thing we quantify better than risks is our collective existential dread 💔. So, thank Avataar Ventures for that sweet, sweet $70M 🍕! Imagine a boardroom filled with suits staring at a bleak PowerPoint that reads 'Everything is fine' while flames 🔥 engulf the room, huh? This is literally *that* meme IRL. Developer 1: “Dude, our funding is immense. We can finally add a feature that doesn't make our users want to chainsaw their devices!” Developer 2: “Based on my calculations, that’s about $170M worth of ‘what are we even doing’.” 🤖 So here’s the deal: Cybersecurity is like that friend who always warns you before a disaster but then accidentally shares their Wi-Fi passwords with hackers. In conclusion, mark my words - within 2 years, Safe Security will either be the cybersecurity overlord or the star of a Netflix documentary titled “How Not to Get Hacked While Being Hacked” 🔮💰. #STONKS 💸 #CyberChaos #SafetyNotGuaranteed