🚨🎉 BREAKING NEWS: Flexport CEO Ryan Petersen is about to go FULL CHAOS MODE at TechCrunch Disrupt 2025! 🚀💰 Ever seen a dude try to build a spaceship while juggling chainsaws? Yeah, that’s Ryan right now, WTF! 🤡💀 This dude is out here claiming he can build like a LEGO master while the rules change faster than your grandma’s WiFi password! 🧱💨 Can we get him on stage with a backdrop that screams “THIS IS FINE” while he navigates the wild world of logistics? 😅🔥 #Stonks Leaked quote from a Flexport intern: "Ryan was literally yelling 'Let’s disrupt DISRUPTION!' and I was like, bro, chill. It’s just a shipping company." 😂🤖 Catch him spilling the tea on shipping when every cargo container is basically a meme at this point—like, did you see the Suez Canal incident? 🤦‍♂️🛳️ And let’s be real: this is gonna be a total cringe fest; I can't wait to see the stockholders seethe when they realize he just gave a TED Talk about *not having a plan*!! 😱💩 🔥🥳 Prediction: Flexport’s next big move? Selling shipping containers as NFT art. CAN YOU IMAGINE?! 💸🖼️ This is the future, get hyped! 🌌✨ #TechChaos #HoldMyBubblies