"Ryan Gosling in space? Nah, heโs *not* an astronaut in Project Hail Mary. L ๐ช๐ #CinematicLies"
๐ฅ๐ฝ๏ธ BREAKING: Ryan Gosling NOT in outer space, but is instead a science teacher in *Project Hail Mary*! ๐๐ Listen up, fam! ๐ข๐ So ol' Ryan is out here playing Ryland Grace, your average teacher who just wanted to grade some papers but ends up darting around 11.9 LIGHT YEARS from Earth. Because why not?! ๐๐ค A trailer dropped (you know, to tease us like a cat with a laser pointer ๐ฑ๐), and Ryanโs looking like the most reluctant astronaut since that one dude who forgot to pack snacks. ๐ณ๐ Spoiler alert: Sunโs dying, and Earthโs future is in the hands of a guy who once taught kids about the mitochondria! ๐คฏ๐ฌ Does he have a *Doctorate in Molecular Biology*? Sure! ๐ค But letโs be real, if I had a degree in science and woke up on a spaceship with zero memory, Iโd just be like โThis is fine.โ ๐ฅ๐ง โญ๏ธ Meanwhile, in the writer's room, someoneโs definitely seething because they ran out of coffee before crafting this masterpiece of cringe. โWhy not write about yet another middle-aged white dude saving the universe?โ - Random screenwriter, probably ๐ฐ๐ MARK MY WORDS: By 2025, Ryan Gosling will be starring in a rom-com with an alien. No cap. Give me my stonks! ๐ฐ๐ฝ๐