🔥📽️ BREAKING: Ryan Gosling NOT in outer space, but is instead a science teacher in *Project Hail Mary*! 🚀💀 Listen up, fam! 📢📚 So ol' Ryan is out here playing Ryland Grace, your average teacher who just wanted to grade some papers but ends up darting around 11.9 LIGHT YEARS from Earth. Because why not?! 🙃💤 A trailer dropped (you know, to tease us like a cat with a laser pointer 🐱💚), and Ryan’s looking like the most reluctant astronaut since that one dude who forgot to pack snacks. 😳🍕 Spoiler alert: Sun’s dying, and Earth’s future is in the hands of a guy who once taught kids about the mitochondria! 🤯🔬 Does he have a *Doctorate in Molecular Biology*? Sure! 🤓 But let’s be real, if I had a degree in science and woke up on a spaceship with zero memory, I’d just be like “This is fine.” 🔥🧊 ⭐️ Meanwhile, in the writer's room, someone’s definitely seething because they ran out of coffee before crafting this masterpiece of cringe. “Why not write about yet another middle-aged white dude saving the universe?” - Random screenwriter, probably 💰💀 MARK MY WORDS: By 2025, Ryan Gosling will be starring in a rom-com with an alien. No cap. Give me my stonks! 💰👽💍