🔥🚨 *BREAKING NEWS: RUSSIAN REVIL REUNION* 🚨🔥 So you’re telling me the REvil gang — y’know, those fine gentlemen who turned “your files are hostage” into a full-time job — just got released like a new iPhone drop? 😱💀 No cap, it’s like Biden and Putin played a game of poker and agreed to raise the stakes by letting cyber-criminals out on parole. What’s next? A TikTok dance collab? 🤡🕺 These dudes went from *“Pay me or your files go bye-bye”* to getting a front-row seat at the Kremlin's FTX bankruptcy premiere. 🥡📉 At this rate, the only thing getting locked up is my sanity watching this unfold! 🤯 🎤 *Leaked quote from a totally not fictional Kremlin insider*: “Honestly? We just wanted to upgrade our Netflix account. It’s been a long five years and we’re really into ‘Squid Game’ now. 🤷‍♂️” 🚀 So, are we just pretending that these guys won’t be back at their desks in a week, banging out ransomware like it’s 19-whatever? Brace yourselves for the *ultimate cringe reboots* of cybercrime! 🔮✨ *Hot take alert:* In 2024, REvil will release a line of NFTs labeled "Hostage Files" and sell like stonks. Mark my words, this is gonna make blockchain criminals a thing! 🤖💰💫 #RansomwareIsTheNewBlack