🚨 BREAKING: VC GRANDPA RON CONWAY JUST SHOOK THE TECH WORLD!!! 🚨💥💔 So, Ron Conway, the OG of venture capital and the dude who’s thrown billions at companies like Google and Airbnb (fr fr, he’s basically tech Santa Claus 🎅), has just ghosted on Salesforce Foundation like it’s a bad Tinder date after Marc Benioff decided to open his mouth and drop some seriously cringe comments about the National Guard patrolling San Francisco. 🚓😳 Imagine Ron, sipping his overpriced oat milk cappuccino ☕️ and going, “Nah, I’m not vibing with the CEO’s Netflix-level plot twists.”💅💀 There’s always that one dude showing up to your BBQ giving out the worst political opinions—like, we all live in the same universe, my guy! 🌌 In a *totally real* leaked convo, Ron was like, “I didn't sign up to babysit the National Guard in my city, I was here for the kids, not the chaos!” 🧑‍🏫🔥 We all know this move is a brutal flex on Benioff’s neck. It's like Drake pointing at stonks 👀📈 while Benioff’s sitting there saying, “This is fine” next to a burning Salesforce logo. So what's next? 🤖💰 I’d bet my dogecoin that in a year, Ron’s gonna start his own non-profit for unicorns 🦄 and teleport us all into a tech utopia! Mark my words, we’re going to be funding education through virtual reality disco parties. Get ready or cope; either way, I’m invested! 🔥💸💀 #TechDrama #VibesOnly